Your Questions, Answered

I'm a lucky girl.  I get to speak with prospective surrogates every day.  I truly enjoy explaining the process to them, answering their questions and hopefully settling some of their concerns and fears.  There are a few questions that I'm asked on a very regular basis, and I figured if all of these prospective surrogates are asking the same questions, surely others are wondering the same thing, and so why not address those questions here?

Q:  Is it really hard to give up the babies?

A:  Simply put, NO.

I was surprised however, to realize how much I loved the babies so early on in the pregnancy.  It hardly seems possible, but I love them even more today - with all my heart.  Although I knew from the beginning that they were not my babies, I protected them, and would continue to protect them to this day as if they were my own. I believe the reason I fell so in love with them so quickly was because of the relationship I had formed with their Daddies.  I think most of us surrogates know deep down that we will be able to "give up" the babies, long before we ever decide to become a surrogate.  But there's always the unknown - what will it truly feel like to "give up" a baby or babies that I've carried for 9 months?  The truth?  For me, neither my mind, nor my body, nor my heart had any trouble giving birth to babies and watching as a family of 2 became a family of 4.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life and the memories of that time are all positive.  It truly is not hard to give up the babies.

Q:  Do you keep in touch with the parents?

A:  Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog knows the answer to this one.  Absolutely, we still keep in touch!  I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have an ongoing relationship with George and Farid, and it's a pretty incredible feeling to know that I have been given the opportunity to watch the twins grow up via pictures and videos.  Although they are SO big now and it's hard for me to remember that they were ever tiny little babies, I feel extremely blessed to have been "present" as they've grown.

Q:  Would you do it again?
*This question has been asked by more than just prospective surrogates... MANY of you have also inquired about this very thing!  Drumroll....I'm finally answering your question.

A:  Yes, I'd love to have another journey.  I'd love to add to, or complete George and Farid's family if and when they choose to do so.

My life has changed so much in the last year.  I've started my career in this field and it keeps me very busy and incredibly satisfied.  I'm a busy single mom.  So much of a surrogacy journey for me was and is about the incredible relationship that is formed between 2 families.  Farid and George know me, and my family knows them.  We trust each other.  The relationship is already there and solid. To share another journey with them would be amazing in so many ways.

That being said, it's a pretty great feeling to also know that I am 100% okay if another journey does not occur.  I'm so happy with my life - with all that I have done and all that I am doing.

Surrogacy has drastically changed my life.  I experienced it first hand, and now I experience it on a daily basis through others. I'm extremely satisfied with it all.

So I'll say here what I say to many others.  If Farid and George decide that they would like to add to their family via surrogacy, I'd be honored to carry for them again.  If not, I will proudly retire this uterus.  3 healthy pregnancies, 4 healthy babies ~ She done good.

May 6, 2013

OnE aNd A HaLf yEaRs oLd!

2 years ago today...

...I lay nervously on an exam table hoping to become pregnant.  A few days later we learned that we were successful and our pregnancy journey began.  To celebrate our transfer-versary, I thought that today would be a good day to take a walk down memory lane.

THE JOURNEY

March 6, 2013

February 6, 2013

Every 6th of the month is special, 

but February 6th is extra special because it's also George's birthday!  

Happy Birthday George!

The 6th Of The Month

I'm one of those people who would always refer to my kiddos as 3 months old, 6 months old, 11 months old, etc., but once they hit 12 months, they were ONE year old.  At 18 months, yes, they were a year and a half old.  I would talk with some of my mommy friends who proudly shared that their baby was 15 months old, or 22 months old, or, wait for it....43 months old.  Ugh.

When people ask me about the twins and how old they are, I often have to think for just a minute.  My reply is often, "They're over a year old now!".  And soon it will be, "They're a year and a half old!"  One thing that I have noticed with Gus and Milena that I never had with my own kids is that I'm acutely aware of the 6th of every month.  Their monthly birthday never slips my mind.  This doesn't necessarily mean that I immediately know how many months old  they are, and when they're 2(ish), I certainly won't be referring to them as being 26 months old, but I wonder if there will ever come a time when the 6th of the month arrives and I don't reminisce about "the 6th."  The 6th is a very special day of the month for me.  I think about Farid, George, Gustavo and Milena EVERY day, but I like the fact that on the 6th day of each month, I'm just a little more aware, reminded just a teeny bit more, of an unforgettable experience that will forever hold a space very near and dear to my heart.

Happy 6th of the month!  

And in case you're wondering, Milena and Gustavo will be a year and a half old in 4 months.  

Faces

Hold on to your hearts folks, because these kids are out to steal them!

Every picture I see either makes me melt, laugh, tear up or smile.

Just take a look at these faces!  

13 months of absolute adorable-ness.  (It's a word - I promise.)

Family

When I first saw this video, the thing that struck me was the normalcy of it.  Here you've got 2 dads with 2 kids....living life.  Just like any family you may see out there.  Making breakfast, getting the kids ready for school, going to work, tucking into bed.  It's just day to day tasks and events in this wonderful thing we call life.  We are ALL living this life.  In some households it's a mom and a dad taking care of these tasks and events.  In others it may be a mom or a dad who solely take care of things.  And in some cases, yes, you'll find 2 moms or 2 dads who are managing their family.  

Managing the family.  It's what we're all doing on a daily basis.  At the end of the day, as we climb into bed, we hope that it was a great day.  We like it when things get done and everyone is happy and healthy.  We look forward to the next day when we'll do it all again.

Does it really matter, 

as you turn out the lights, 

whether you roll over to give a kiss goodnight 

to your husband, your wife, your partner, or no one at all? 

It does not. 

The New TV Family

The New Normal.

Modern Family.

Guys With Kids.

Just a sampling of some of the television shows you can tune into this season.  The shows will make you laugh and they'll make you cry but most importantly, they will help to  change the way our society views family.

Obviously, The New Normal is a show that many surrogates and intended parents were excited about watching.  The feedback on the show is mixed.  Some love it and some hate it.  Some feel it "represents" and others argue that it's not realistic. Personally, I'm enjoying the show.  Sure, there are plenty of things that aren't an accurate representation, but in my mind there is a more important shift taking place.

Shows like these are creating characters that we fall in love with as viewers.  Character development is crucial for any TV show that's going to experience success on prime time.  Not only are the characters in these shows well developed, these shows are portraying a non-traditional family.  We have a single mom and surrogate mother.  We've got stay-at-home dads.  We've got gay couples who are creating families via adoption and surrogacy.

The more our society sees a variety of families, the more likely it is that it becomes accepted as the norm, and if we could just be honest with ourselves, the non-traditional family IS the norm!  It's our reality and we should embrace that.  These shows are helping to reinforce the fact that although families may LOOK different, if you peel away what the family "looks" like, you're simply left with....a family.  Not a gay family.  Not a divorced family.  Not a "non-traditional" family.  Just a family.

And as an incredibly lovable surrogate once said: