Your Questions, Answered

I'm a lucky girl.  I get to speak with prospective surrogates every day.  I truly enjoy explaining the process to them, answering their questions and hopefully settling some of their concerns and fears.  There are a few questions that I'm asked on a very regular basis, and I figured if all of these prospective surrogates are asking the same questions, surely others are wondering the same thing, and so why not address those questions here?

Q:  Is it really hard to give up the babies?

A:  Simply put, NO.

I was surprised however, to realize how much I loved the babies so early on in the pregnancy.  It hardly seems possible, but I love them even more today - with all my heart.  Although I knew from the beginning that they were not my babies, I protected them, and would continue to protect them to this day as if they were my own. I believe the reason I fell so in love with them so quickly was because of the relationship I had formed with their Daddies.  I think most of us surrogates know deep down that we will be able to "give up" the babies, long before we ever decide to become a surrogate.  But there's always the unknown - what will it truly feel like to "give up" a baby or babies that I've carried for 9 months?  The truth?  For me, neither my mind, nor my body, nor my heart had any trouble giving birth to babies and watching as a family of 2 became a family of 4.  It was one of the most amazing moments of my life and the memories of that time are all positive.  It truly is not hard to give up the babies.

Q:  Do you keep in touch with the parents?

A:  Anyone who is a regular reader of this blog knows the answer to this one.  Absolutely, we still keep in touch!  I feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have an ongoing relationship with George and Farid, and it's a pretty incredible feeling to know that I have been given the opportunity to watch the twins grow up via pictures and videos.  Although they are SO big now and it's hard for me to remember that they were ever tiny little babies, I feel extremely blessed to have been "present" as they've grown.

Q:  Would you do it again?
*This question has been asked by more than just prospective surrogates... MANY of you have also inquired about this very thing!  Drumroll....I'm finally answering your question.

A:  Yes, I'd love to have another journey.  I'd love to add to, or complete George and Farid's family if and when they choose to do so.

My life has changed so much in the last year.  I've started my career in this field and it keeps me very busy and incredibly satisfied.  I'm a busy single mom.  So much of a surrogacy journey for me was and is about the incredible relationship that is formed between 2 families.  Farid and George know me, and my family knows them.  We trust each other.  The relationship is already there and solid. To share another journey with them would be amazing in so many ways.

That being said, it's a pretty great feeling to also know that I am 100% okay if another journey does not occur.  I'm so happy with my life - with all that I have done and all that I am doing.

Surrogacy has drastically changed my life.  I experienced it first hand, and now I experience it on a daily basis through others. I'm extremely satisfied with it all.

So I'll say here what I say to many others.  If Farid and George decide that they would like to add to their family via surrogacy, I'd be honored to carry for them again.  If not, I will proudly retire this uterus.  3 healthy pregnancies, 4 healthy babies ~ She done good.

When Life Gives You Crazy, Change Your Perspective

I had a meltdown.
         Or maybe 2.

Fortunately there was only one witness to my weak moment.  Good ol' Mom. Thank you Mom for soaring with me when I'm on cloud nine and scraping my sorry butt off the ground when I'm not.

Things have been busy around here, and stressful.

So far this year, I have worked approximately 663 hours.  In 12 weeks.  You do the math.

Add in homework, Dr. and dentist appointments, dance class, school events, everyday chores and errands and - well - I was feeling a wee bit overwhelmed. I wanted and needed more time in the day.  I began feeling like there was never going to be enough time for everything I'd like to do.  For the last few weeks I've been feeling like there will never be time to read the book that sits on my nightstand begging me to read it.  The movies that I had hoped to see in the theater are nearing their release on DVD and yet I wonder if I'll have time to watch them even then.  Poor, poor Jeni...just too darn busy.

Then yesterday it hit me.  Yes, my life is busy.  And it's bound to stay that way for quite some time.  I have 2 very clear choices.  Focus on all that I haven't gotten to do, or focus on all that I HAVE gotten to do. Additionally, I tried adding some perspective to the things I have gotten to do.

For example:

Recently, I have been privileged enough to witness a pretty sweet game of Twister between my girls:

Several days later, I also witnessed one of the biggest fights they've ever had.

***Perspective - There are parents around the world who live DAILY with only the memory of their child - parents who would give absolutely ANYTHING to witness a game of Twister, or even the world's greatest argument.

http://www.orangetheoryfitness.com/

I've recently started working out.  Something that I have never liked to do.  Something I've never really done.  Well I'm doing it.  And I'm loving it.  And some days I'm so sore that I can barely walk.

***Perspective - As I'm HATING lifting those weights, and as I'm DREADING that treadmill, there are human beings who are missing an arm, a leg, or the general health needed to be able to do this kind of work out.

And each night as I head to bed, exhausted and sometimes stressed, I keep this in mind:  There are many, many people who want a job, don't have a job, and haven't had a job in some time.  People who have already lost, or fear the loss of their home, their car, their belongings.  As I crawl into my nice warm bed (with the heated mattress pad) and turn on the TV for a bit before falling asleep, how could I POSSIBLY feel sorry for myself and the crazy life that I am so blessed to live?

I choose to be grateful for the basics:

I am healthy.
I have food, a warm home and a reliable car.
My children are healthy, caring, smart, beautiful young ladies.
I am able to pay my bills and have money left over for indulgences.
I am loved.

I choose to focus on the things that ARE my life:

Those 663 hours have helped to make the dream of becoming a surrogate a reality for about 60 women so far this year.  Those 60 women will go on to help create 60 families.  That my friends, is 663 hours of my life well spent.

And let's keep it real.  That book WILL get read in time.  I WILL see those movies that I've wanted to see.  Not today, and maybe not even this week or month.  But I'm living for today.  And today, I sure do have a lot to be thankful for - most of all this crazy life of mine. 

Working From Home: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Many boast that the bedroom is "where all the magic happens."  Not in this house.
THIS is where families are created.  Each and every day.

I've shared with all of you what I do for Circle, and you may have already reached the conclusion that I work from home.  Indeed I do work at Casa de Denhof.  It's the swankiest office in town.  Working from home has it's perks, and it also has it's drawbacks.

THE GOOD

It's home.

Which means it's comfortable.  It's convenient.  Every day is casual Friday.  And these are the heels I wear to work each day.

You can't beat the commute, I can throw a load of laundry in on my lunch break, and it's nice that even when it looks like this outside:

I don't ever have to go out in it.  I turn on the fireplace, take a seat, and I work.  

The view from my "office".

THE BAD

It's home.

Which means I can't pop my head into the offices of my co-workers just to say "hey".  It means when the office is having a bonding moment, I'm not a part of it. It means no holiday parties, no shared lunches, no in-person socializing with the people I have become so close to.

It also means I never officially leave work.  Or at least it takes a conscious effort to quit for the day.  I have round-the-clock access to work and sometimes it is difficult for me to call it a day and decide I'll finish a task the next day.  If there's work to be done, it's hard for me to not take care of it immediately.

THE UGLY

It's home.

Which means when the alarm goes off at 6:00 and I have to be "at" work at 7:00, I can be lazy, lay around in bed until 6:45, hop in the shower, throw my hair up....and be "at" work on time.  Why is this ugly you ask?  Well, I don't want to injure any readers with an actual picture, so just imagine this:

with no make up, hair in a messy bun on top my head, sleepy eyes...

you get the picture.

And unfortunately, it's UGLY.  

I Miss You!

Life has been busy.
                   Crazy busy.
                                   INSANELY busy!

And yet, life continues to be very good.  Great, in fact.

What's been filling my time?  Well, 2 things in particular seem to be taking up every spare moment I have these days.

1) A major increase in my responsibilities at work.  Yay!  More work!  I'm very excited about this.

2) I've moved.  Hopefully for the last time ever.  Moving is a really crappy...er...fun job. Yeah, not a fan.

I begin my day VERY early and I end my day in the wee hours of the morning. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks.  Things are finally beginning to settle down a bit, and for that, I am grateful.

Because I miss writing blog posts.  I miss reading my fellow bloggers blog posts. I miss YOU.

I'll catch up soon, my friends!  Until then, what I'd really love to know is:

HOW ARE ALL OF YOU DOING?  Truly.  Will you tell me in a comment so I can feel connected again?  Please and thank you.  XO

A Day In The Life

~How I Am Adjusting to Life as a Working Mom ~

I wake between 6:45 and 7:15 every day.  Most days, no alarm is necessary. The first order of business is to check my phone for any work that needs my immediate attention.  You see, although it's still early here in Denver, the work day has already begun and is in full swing in Boston.  Boston.  Where you will find most of my co-workers working in the office.  

I get myself ready for the day while responding to emails here and there, and making sure Skyler and Savannah are all set and ready for their school day. Once they are school bound, I plop down at my desk and I get busy.  For the next 6-7 hours you'll find me:

Answering phone calls

Screening applicants

Chatting with potential surrogates about the journey and how rewarding it is

Realizing I haven't blogged in nearly a week

Gathering medical records

Sending welcome emails

Contacting former carriers

Making welcome calls

Realizing I MUST make the time to blog...I have readers for goodness sake

Attending meetings via phone

Making to-do lists

Following up with Physicians and Hospitals regarding medical records

Sending and responding to emails 

Forwarding paperwork to the office

Realizing I only have 10 minutes until I need to pick up the girls from school and I still haven't composed a new blog post.

On the way to pick up the girls from school, I'm making a mental list of all the things I didn't get a chance to do during the day.

Pick up my happy girls from school who always greet me with a smile. Love.

We tackle homework and get snacks, water bottles and lunches ready for the next day.  We attend our after school activities like dance, drama and tutoring for the elementary school's homework club.  Once we're home for the evening, we have some dinner and I spend a little more time working on the things I didn't get done during the day.  We usually try to catch up on some of our TV shows together.  

Around 10 PM, the house is relatively quiet and at least one of the kids is in bed. Skyler's a night owl, just like her mama, so sometimes she keeps me company. Late night is a good time for me to finish up work for the day.  Usually by 1 AM, the eyelids are getting pretty droopy and sleep is beckoning.  As I lay down and attempt to relax my mind, the thoughts that are swirling around in my head are:

I love my job.

I love that I get to work in this field.

I love that I communicate with surrogates every day of the week.

I love that I'm busy.

I love that I'm successful.

I love being a working mom.