Working From Home: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Many boast that the bedroom is "where all the magic happens."  Not in this house.
THIS is where families are created.  Each and every day.

I've shared with all of you what I do for Circle, and you may have already reached the conclusion that I work from home.  Indeed I do work at Casa de Denhof.  It's the swankiest office in town.  Working from home has it's perks, and it also has it's drawbacks.

THE GOOD

It's home.

Which means it's comfortable.  It's convenient.  Every day is casual Friday.  And these are the heels I wear to work each day.

You can't beat the commute, I can throw a load of laundry in on my lunch break, and it's nice that even when it looks like this outside:

I don't ever have to go out in it.  I turn on the fireplace, take a seat, and I work.  

The view from my "office".

THE BAD

It's home.

Which means I can't pop my head into the offices of my co-workers just to say "hey".  It means when the office is having a bonding moment, I'm not a part of it. It means no holiday parties, no shared lunches, no in-person socializing with the people I have become so close to.

It also means I never officially leave work.  Or at least it takes a conscious effort to quit for the day.  I have round-the-clock access to work and sometimes it is difficult for me to call it a day and decide I'll finish a task the next day.  If there's work to be done, it's hard for me to not take care of it immediately.

THE UGLY

It's home.

Which means when the alarm goes off at 6:00 and I have to be "at" work at 7:00, I can be lazy, lay around in bed until 6:45, hop in the shower, throw my hair up....and be "at" work on time.  Why is this ugly you ask?  Well, I don't want to injure any readers with an actual picture, so just imagine this:

with no make up, hair in a messy bun on top my head, sleepy eyes...

you get the picture.

And unfortunately, it's UGLY.  

Question #1 What Exactly Do You Do For Circle Surrogacy?

In order to best explain to you what my job entails, we are going to play a little game of make believe. So if you'll please join me in putting on your imagination hats.  Mine looks like this:


Got your hat on?  Good.

Now let's pretend you're a potential surrogate. You've thought about it, done some research, you've even Googled it. (Good choice.  Google rocks.)  Your search will hopefully lead you here: Surrogacy Guide: An Introduction To Surrogacy  Once you've downloaded the guide, you have my contact information and are encouraged to contact me with any questions you may have. You'll also receive an email from me thanking you for downloading the guide, and introducing myself.  If you've got questions, I'm your girl.  You and I communicate back and forth, sometimes for an afternoon, sometimes for months.  If I do my job well, you'll feel excited about taking the next step - applying.

This pre-application communication is something I very much enjoy.  However, it may surprise you to know that this role is just a very small part of my job.  Each and every application that is submitted to Circle Surrogacy is reviewed and processed by yours truly.  Some applications cannot be accepted due to the requirements and guidelines set in place by the agency and the IVF clinics with which we work.  One thing I am extremely proud of is the fact that we send a response to each and every application we receive.  You're not left wondering if we received your application, if you've been approved or not.  You'll receive an email from me either way.  And you'll hear from me in a timely fashion.  Almost always within 24 hours.  

Since we're imagining, and I call the shots in my imagination, your application has just been accepted!  Yay!  I'm so excited for you!  You will receive an email from me welcoming you to our program.  I will have attached all the paperwork we will need from you.  It's a lot of paperwork, and I completely understand that you may be feeling overwhelmed.  Don't worry.  I'm here to help you through all of it.  I will be available to answer all of your questions and help to ease any concerns you may have about the process.  TOGETHER, we'll get all of your paperwork and medical records collected so that we can submit your file to our IVF physicians and insurance company for approval.  I do not work alone. There are several awesome women I work with who do an amazing job making this process run quickly and smoothly.  Once you are approved by our physician and insurance company, you have officially "graduated" from pre-screening and you and I tearfully say our goodbyes.  Ok, so maybe you're not tearful, you're usually pretty darn excited. You are now on to screening with one of our amazing social workers.  Screening is the last step before....MATCHING with intended parents!  

So there you have it.  My job in a nutshell.  Now repeat the above scenario a few times.  Well, maybe more than a few times.  As we speak, I am at one of the aforementioned stages with 156 surrogates.  No, that was not a typo.  One hundred fifty six.  I work a lot.  Some people can't believe the number of hours I work in a week.  They can't understand why I would be ok working a 10 hour workday, only to work some more at night.  They think it's crazy that I usually work 7 days a week.  They have the most puzzled look on their faces as they ask me, "WHY?"

Why?  Well that's simple.  Because I love it.

www.circlesurrogacy.com

A Day In The Life

~How I Am Adjusting to Life as a Working Mom ~

I wake between 6:45 and 7:15 every day.  Most days, no alarm is necessary. The first order of business is to check my phone for any work that needs my immediate attention.  You see, although it's still early here in Denver, the work day has already begun and is in full swing in Boston.  Boston.  Where you will find most of my co-workers working in the office.  

I get myself ready for the day while responding to emails here and there, and making sure Skyler and Savannah are all set and ready for their school day. Once they are school bound, I plop down at my desk and I get busy.  For the next 6-7 hours you'll find me:

Answering phone calls

Screening applicants

Chatting with potential surrogates about the journey and how rewarding it is

Realizing I haven't blogged in nearly a week

Gathering medical records

Sending welcome emails

Contacting former carriers

Making welcome calls

Realizing I MUST make the time to blog...I have readers for goodness sake

Attending meetings via phone

Making to-do lists

Following up with Physicians and Hospitals regarding medical records

Sending and responding to emails 

Forwarding paperwork to the office

Realizing I only have 10 minutes until I need to pick up the girls from school and I still haven't composed a new blog post.

On the way to pick up the girls from school, I'm making a mental list of all the things I didn't get a chance to do during the day.

Pick up my happy girls from school who always greet me with a smile. Love.

We tackle homework and get snacks, water bottles and lunches ready for the next day.  We attend our after school activities like dance, drama and tutoring for the elementary school's homework club.  Once we're home for the evening, we have some dinner and I spend a little more time working on the things I didn't get done during the day.  We usually try to catch up on some of our TV shows together.  

Around 10 PM, the house is relatively quiet and at least one of the kids is in bed. Skyler's a night owl, just like her mama, so sometimes she keeps me company. Late night is a good time for me to finish up work for the day.  Usually by 1 AM, the eyelids are getting pretty droopy and sleep is beckoning.  As I lay down and attempt to relax my mind, the thoughts that are swirling around in my head are:

I love my job.

I love that I get to work in this field.

I love that I communicate with surrogates every day of the week.

I love that I'm busy.

I love that I'm successful.

I love being a working mom.

Your Calling

Every once in a while, I find that there is a word or phrase that I don't care for and it is at that moment that I decide to remove this word or phrase from my vocabulary.

Recently, there is a phrase that I have heard on several occasions that I have tossed into the vocabulary garbage can and I'd like to encourage you to do so as well.

"YOU MISSED YOUR CALLING."

Think about it.  It's a pretty depressing statement.  

How wonderful it is to have a calling, or even multiple callings.  But to tell someone they've missed it, is simply wrong.  What a negative view on life to imply that you've missed it. It's gone.  It's not capable of happening.

From this day forward I vow that the message that I will send is this:  

You've found a calling!  That's fantastic! 

Tell me what's next, now that you've realized your calling!

I'm also choosing to embrace the fact that we can have more than one calling. We are complex creatures with many talents and passions.  Develop those talents and passions and you've got yourself lots of opportunity, and thus, a calling.  Over the course of a lifetime, our callings might change, or evolve. Embrace your calling or callings.  Be grateful that you have realized them and make plans to do something with them.  Life is short.  Live it passionately.

And speaking of callings, here's a great article about them:

EMBRACING YOUR CALLING