Or maybe 2.
Fortunately there was only one witness to my weak moment. Good ol' Mom. Thank you Mom for soaring with me when I'm on cloud nine and scraping my sorry butt off the ground when I'm not.
Things have been busy around here, and stressful.
So far this year, I have worked approximately 663 hours. In 12 weeks. You do the math.
Add in homework, Dr. and dentist appointments, dance class, school events, everyday chores and errands and - well - I was feeling a wee bit overwhelmed. I wanted and needed more time in the day. I began feeling like there was never going to be enough time for everything I'd like to do. For the last few weeks I've been feeling like there will never be time to read the book that sits on my nightstand begging me to read it. The movies that I had hoped to see in the theater are nearing their release on DVD and yet I wonder if I'll have time to watch them even then. Poor, poor Jeni...just too darn busy.
Then yesterday it hit me. Yes, my life is busy. And it's bound to stay that way for quite some time. I have 2 very clear choices. Focus on all that I haven't gotten to do, or focus on all that I HAVE gotten to do. Additionally, I tried adding some perspective to the things I have gotten to do.
Recently, I have been privileged enough to witness a pretty sweet game of Twister between my girls:
Several days later, I also witnessed one of the biggest fights they've ever had.
***Perspective - There are parents around the world who live DAILY with only the memory of their child - parents who would give absolutely ANYTHING to witness a game of Twister, or even the world's greatest argument.
***Perspective - As I'm HATING lifting those weights, and as I'm DREADING that treadmill, there are human beings who are missing an arm, a leg, or the general health needed to be able to do this kind of work out.
And each night as I head to bed, exhausted and sometimes stressed, I keep this in mind: There are many, many people who want a job, don't have a job, and haven't had a job in some time. People who have already lost, or fear the loss of their home, their car, their belongings. As I crawl into my nice warm bed (with the heated mattress pad) and turn on the TV for a bit before falling asleep, how could I POSSIBLY feel sorry for myself and the crazy life that I am so blessed to live?
I choose to be grateful for the basics:
I am healthy.
I have food, a warm home and a reliable car.
My children are healthy, caring, smart, beautiful young ladies.
I am able to pay my bills and have money left over for indulgences.
I am loved.
I choose to focus on the things that ARE my life:
Those 663 hours have helped to make the dream of becoming a surrogate a reality for about 60 women so far this year. Those 60 women will go on to help create 60 families. That my friends, is 663 hours of my life well spent.
And let's keep it real. That book WILL get read in time. I WILL see those movies that I've wanted to see. Not today, and maybe not even this week or month. But I'm living for today. And today, I sure do have a lot to be thankful for - most of all this crazy life of mine.