2011 has been a life changing year for me. In the last 12 months I have:
- Traveled to: Nevada (once), New York (twice), Connecticut (twice), and California (thrice) :-)
- Experienced IVF (complete with learning how to inject (and be injected with) hormones)
- Become pregnant, carried, and birthed 2 babies
- Grown my family by 4, and friends by many more
- Developed a blog which has allowed me to "meet" many people from around the world
- Discovered a strong desire to speak with others (with a great deal of pride) about the surrogacy process
- Learned that there is a big, big world out there that I want to experience
The journey that I have taken this past year has created in me, pride, confidence and strength.
When I set out on this journey, I anticipated that I would devote approximately one year of my life to help grow a family. I knew that the gift that I would give would be something that I would be proud of until my dying day. Now here I sit, one year later having given that gift and the pride that I feel is truly indescribable. What I did not anticipate is that along with that pride comes a very special relationship with 2 men and their children. I can't (and don't want to) remember what life was like without them. I am proud to have been able to help. I am proud to have them be a part of my life. I am proud to be a part of theirs.
For me, that pride created confidence. Confidence in myself and confidence in sharing about the surrogacy process. I have shared with many people about our journey and the more I shared, the more confident I became. I soon found that speaking with others, both in person and through the blog, was something that I thoroughly enjoyed doing. I also quickly learned that I was capable of making a difference in people's perception of surrogacy in general, and of being a surrogate for a gay couple.
The pride and confidence have morphed into strength...more specifically, a lack of fear. My eyes have been opened to a big world, with many people who are different in every way. Before this year, I think I found comfort in "sameness". Now I see the beauty in variety and I love it! I want to experience the world and the wide variety of people who inhabit it!
As I look forward to 2012, there are many question marks. What will my life look like? What will I experience? How could it possibly compare to my 2011?
Although question marks are not my favorite thing in life, I am working on my attitude regarding them. My resolution for 2012?
I will be ok with change. I will welcome adventure. I will make smart decisions and take advantage of opportunities that might be presented to me. I will experience more. I will fear less.
And most importantly, I will enjoy all of the moments, because all of these moments add up to a lifetime.
So 2012 ~ You've got some big shoes to fill! I know you'll have a lot in store for me and I'm ready! Bring it on!!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!