Lessons Learned From A Pregnant Woman

So...I've been keeping a list of all of the realizations I've come to recently and thought I would take a moment to share the ones I've got so far...

LESSONS LEARNED FROM A PREGNANT WOMAN

• Turning to the side to squeeze through a tight space is no longer the best strategy.
• Removing your toenail polish before OB appointments DOES NOT make a difference on the scale.
• In the battle of Bladder vs. Swift Kick....Swift Kick wins every time.  
• The "pregnancy glow" is not nearly as enjoyable when paired with the extra cottage cheese on your thighs....
• A brief cardio workout in the Ladies Room after leaving your urine sample DOES NOT make a difference on the scale.
• Absolutely all wrong can be blamed on hormones. 
• Just because you emptied your bladder at 1:34 AM, does not mean you won't need to empty it  again at 2:56. And again at 4:07. And again at 5:29.
• The blood you just so generously provided for yet ANOTHER prenatal test DOES NOT make a difference on the scale.
• Although the moans and groans your wife makes while trying to roll over in bed might sound "naughty", I guarantee you...this is NOT the case.
• Pregnancy, with all of it's ups and downs, with all of the funny moments, and the not so funny moments is absolutely, 100% a MIRACLE!

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!